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Say No > Steam Sucks - Bad software - STEAMing Pile of shit! - Counterstrike, Modern Warfare, Team Fortress 2, etc

March 2008
Valve - Steam Sucks

Steam? What is it?

Steam is a so-called 'platform' for subscribing to computer games. Why is it called a subscription service? The answer is that you pay a once-off fee to steam/valve to maintain the game. If you have no internet connection, then you won't be able to connect to steam's auentication servers which means bad luck to you.

In its first incarnation, it made for one of the most horrid gaming experiences. Countless crashes, connection and 'authentication/ticket' issues, forced updates, etc all made it unusable at one stage or another.

So if it's so bug-ridden and breaks all convention, why do so many people use it? Because of Valve's iron-fisted monopoly! It's like how everybody hates Microsoft, but they still use it. At least with operating systems you have another choice such as Linux. But with steam platform games, such as Counterstrike, you have no choice but to steam it up!

The problems with Valve's silly application, SteamingPileOfShit

Breaks all UI conventions


Not everyone has the default blue Windows XP luna theme!
If people are successfully filing complaints about the unusability of websites, then why is steam allowed to get away with non-standard UI controls? Some of their dialogue boxes are not even keyboard accessible.

Yes, we all know that this is a game, and games are allowed to employ custom UIs, right? Wrong! Steam, for the most part, is usually running in the background (when you're not playing any game). Thus it is a 'Windows' application. As such, it should follow the proper UI conventions. Why re-invent the UI by making it use non-standard colors, or make pushbuttons look different to the standard ones used by 99.9% of all other windows applications?

Why do the windows now fade in and out?!?! When I want to close a window, I want it to dissapear immediately, like other normal windows. Don't want any of this bullshit fadeout crap.

Forced updates


Updates are forced onto you, no matter what!

I wanna play now! Not update the silly thing!

You are at the mercy of valve's developers. All updates are forced onto you. There is no escaping this.

At least with MS windows, the most widely used software, allows you to update it when you please. Windows is used for all purposes - even mission critical business applications. And you can choose not to update windows at all if you so wish. In fact I have rarely ever updated windows, and yet, the software remains fairly stable (quite remarkably).

But take steam on the other hand. Every now and then it will complain about needing to update. It won't even let you play any of your subscribed games untill you let it do its updates. This draconian approach is all but grudgingly accepted by players.


Ready to play Counter-Strike in 8 minutes!?!?! Why bother?
For instance, perhaps one day you fired up steam to have a quick online game. But steam wants to do a major update, and you are forced to wait anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes for the updates to download. This detracts from the desire to play. Worse still, there is an advert - fancy paying a subscription and having to put up with more advertising!

If Microsoft forced automatic updates on its Windows users, everyone would be up in arms, bitching and moaning. And there'd probably be some other alternative operating system that people would move over to. Not so with the Steaming Pile of Shit - it's either put up, or shut up.

Contrast this with your car. Should you be forced to have it serviced immediately the next service date is due, no matter what, even though you needed to go to work or some other important trip? Of course not! You'd put off the servicing until the next most convienent time, or have it serviced in advance. And yet, somehow, players are accepting of this 'forced updates' practice. We all accept it the way it is, like in 1984, how the proles never question Big Brother.

The most error prone application


The classic problem with steam

The 2007 award for the most error prone, commercial/widespread application goes to STEAM(ing Pile Of Shit)

Out of all the regularly used and/or widespread computer software, steam wins the award for being the most unreliable and error-prone. It is almost a guarantee for anyone who has ever used steam before to experience a crashed (aka not responding) application.


How am i supposed to know that wasn't already running?
All the 'improvements' and updates mean nothing as long as steam crashes once out of every 20 times you use it. It would have been much preferred if valve could have spent more development time on reliability rather than making the thing look fancy (see 'Breaks all UI conventions' above).

An even more insidious problem is trying to recover from these software crashes. Suppose one of the games crashed. You then try running it again, and guess what - steam tells you it is still running! Needless to say, to most users, this means a reboot or a trip to the task manager to kill off the offending crashed steam application.

Valve U.S.A. developers are full of themselves


USA flag does not equal English!!! What if I live in the UK or Australia? What do I choose???
English does not imply the stars and stripes. After all, English was named after the country of its origins. Worse still, the list is supposed to be sorted alphabetically, and yet, English (along with the flag they're so patriotic about) is placed right at the top. For people living in other English-speaking countries (such as the UK or Australia), it can cause confusion. To prevent this, the valve developers should have included an 'International English' option.

You see, the north Americans choose bigotry over form and convention. Kind of like 'It's our way, or the highway'. They may not realise it, but small things like this can offend non-Americans.


Comments

Brock, Sat, 05 Dec 2009 11:41 am: Reply
Love watching you bitch and moan :)

Maverik, Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:10 am: Reply
God damn, i think steam is one of that damnation need to use programms ever.

I bought silent hill 5 homecoming, and where frendly reminded to istall steam at all, on the product pack of the game nothing where mentured ether printed in the manual to install damn steam at all!!! what the f**k you need to install steam to play a "offline" and "singleplayer game", uhh man i am allways a fan of silent hill but thats the worste action of konami ever! blast away illegal copies!!! I purchasted the game legaly!!! why does i f*****ng need to install a f****ng stuff like steam to play my beloved silent hill?

With greetings
Maverik

Anonymous, Sun, 13 Dec 2009 12:44 am: Reply
Only one of your arguments i can agree with (Forced updates). the rest of them are either made up, or just bad attempts at finding an excuse to hate steam.

trik, Tue, 15 Dec 2009 09:46 am: Reply
steam does suck cock totaly ruind mw2 in my eyes

Anonymous, Tue, 29 Dec 2009 11:23 pm: Reply
Goddamit what if you lose your acc, you would be able to play your games anymore, you know.
steam sucks at all.

Anonymous, Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:52 pm: Reply
I like how steam wont update and cant seem to log on so now I can't play any of the games I paid for. Seriously, why I do I even pay for games. It just keeps telling me its having trouble with the servers. Or maybe it'll just try to login for an hour. God DAMN YOU STEAM. POS software.

Ultra.x, Thu, 11 Feb 2010 10:10 am: Reply
COD6 on PC uses steam, its a carm peaceful game to play after getting 20 messages saying, unable to connect ot host(why can they host it then for f*** sake), unable to migrate(usless and changing host, fuc* me !!), steam has lost connection(the doom message, it just wont work, restart the fuc*ing computer.) 1/12 atepts to join a game will succeed.

STEAM IS SH*T !!!

Zonzai, Wed, 24 Feb 2010 12:30 pm: Reply
I've never played a game that uses steam without encountering problems. I swear it must be coded by monkeys. Actually, I usually buy the games I play but to save myself the headache of steam, I downloaded pirated copies of games that require it. Now, usually I'm against doing this but I refuse to put up with STEAM. It never fails to make me regret using it.

DINOBYTE, Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:30 am: Reply
I agree STEAM SUCKS BIGTIME and I will never again buy any other game that require it that is 100%!
zach, Wed, 16 Jun 2010 10:08 am:
i agree boycott the fags

Jonathan, Thu, 04 Mar 2010 11:13 pm: Reply
And.. just try to get tech support from Steam. It is fair to say that problems will come with any community gaming platform of scale. But when the problems arise (crap hits the fan) Steam is nowhere to be found. No tech support phone line. All is done through forums and email. Last download purchase I made was totally dysfunctional; contacted Steam, took them 9 days to get back to me, first line of the email – WE DON’T GIVE RETURNS ON DIGITAL PURCHASES. I didn’t ask for one, not that I didn’t want one! They were no help, in fact they all but admitted that they do not give user level tech support and that the software is sold “as is” and that I was on my own. Great business model there guys… and hey, just lost another customer, but no fear, there are plenty of other suckers out there, right?

MDKiryu, Fri, 12 Mar 2010 05:53 am: Reply
Completely stupid software...

I buy a game, I bring game home, I put disc in computer, I install game..........and wait several hours for Steam to let me play the damn thing.

Who gave them the right to decide when my game is "ready to play"?

Razor, Wed, 17 Mar 2010 06:34 am: Reply
Maybe if you only had to register games purchased in an actual stor I could understand but f the disc is only a shell that allows you to install throu steam! what a pile of shit!

Anonymous, Thu, 25 Mar 2010 08:08 am: Reply
Steam is a pile of shyte!just bought supreme commander 2. stuck it on and still waiting to play it 3/4 hour later!!!there downloading updates for it! ITS A NEW DISK BOUGHT TODAY!!
the idiots are also updating a game that i took off my pc weeks ago.DEFINATLY NOT BUYING ANY GAME THAT USES STEAM AGAIN!!

nick, Wed, 31 Mar 2010 09:37 pm: Reply
I hate fucking steam, i just wanted to go offline and it says you can't do that without online, it doesn't even tell me what it can't do, I just wish you could by a valve game without any useless program
zach, Wed, 16 Jun 2010 09:22 am:
nick a second that sht
zach, Wed, 16 Jun 2010 09:27 am:
i not a

STEAMSUCKS, Mon, 12 Apr 2010 03:43 pm: Reply
STEAM FkING SUCKS, OMG it fcking takes 2 hours to play a new game you buy because their fcking system sucks dck trying to INSTALL the game. FFS I JUST BOUGHT THE GAME TO PLAY YOU DIPSHTS. Let my fcking computer install the cd from the FCKING CD THAT I PAID FOR. Instead of this fcking 2 hours of DOWNLOAD FROM UR FCKING GAY AZS SYTEM.

FUUUUSTEAM, Tue, 04 May 2010 03:22 pm: Reply
Steam is horrible, i will not buy another Steam game. the forced downloads are stupid and people without the internet are stuffed if they want to Start the games, but so far i can live with that. but what really makes me hate steam is the way they have killed Lan play with siblings. i liked games back in the day, where you could install a game on 3+ computers on 1 cd key, for example H.A.W.X (not steam) doesnt require a Key code UNLESS your playing online, which is fair enough, you pay to play online, but lan is free and doesn't require a Keygen, now CoD MW2 is a different story, i bought it and wanted to play land with my brothers, i figured it would require along the same lines as CoD 4 or WaW(5) a Keygen and just 1 copy of the game to install but no, Steam expects me to buy 5 fucking copy's of a 100$ (Australian) game. i dont wanna spend 500$ just for a lan game every now and then and online multiplayer maybe once every 2 weeks. its fun Multiplayer but not 500$ worth of fun, Same goes for other steam games not just MW2, left for dead 2 = same story, AVP = Same story after that i stoped buying steam games, i never even bought CSS (olny found out about it after i played MW2 had a shit Pc for a long time)

so from now on if steam brings out a game i want to play, ill just download it(they want you to anyway) and crack it, so it doesnt need steam to run.

/rant.

SteamHater, Wed, 05 May 2010 06:54 am: Reply
Sometimes it connect in less than a minute, but most of the time it take MUCH longer, like 15 minutes, sometimes even ONE HOUR. I wonder what it does during this time, sometimes I just watch the Task manager and see Steam growing every 10 seconds by few kb, from 40mb to 150mb..A SHAME.

This software use 150 mb or my ram, and it does nothing but checking if my game is legal and up to date. What a waste. I wish I could teach Steam "developpers" how to code efficiently.

Not to say the constant crashes: I start steam, start a game, play one hour or so, then one hour later I try to play again, it doesn't work, I need to restart Steam which most of the time doesn't work (or take 15 minutes or more to connect), and I need to reinstall Steam.

And don't ever try to click too fast on Steam buttons, it will crash, guaranteed. I think they use apes as beta testers (if it's ever tested).

Fucking piece of shit software.

"The ultimate online gaming platform".. my ass. I never saw such a shitty software in my entire life.

Another problem, sometimes it change the language of my games and redownload the new sounds. OBVIOUSLY, it doesn't keep the old sounds so I need to change the language and redownload all sounds anyway. When you don't have a fast internet, it's really a pain. Simple crappy solution, make a copy of the steamapps folder, as a backup in case of steam failure (which happen once every 2 weeks)..

Hopefully now I have downloaded illegal NO-STEAM versions of games that I own, and even games that I don't own to be honest. "You steal my time, I steal your games".

THE BEST SHITTY SOFTWARE EVER.

I recommend anyone who don't have a steam account already, to NEVER buy a game which use Steam. Instead, I encourage you to download a NON-STEAM version of those games.

pez, Tue, 11 May 2010 07:49 pm: Reply
i only use it to play tf2 and classic cs, and to be honest its nice that it patches it for you and you avoid all the shit we used to have to go through back in the days of the first half life mods..

on the other hand i can see how it fucking blows for people buying games in shops that require you to install and update it. also its fucking total fucking bloatware especially as i only play one game on it. why does it default to starting with windows when the login screen alone uses a whole shitload of memory (for some reason???). also its annoying seeing over 9000 adverts for other games ill never ever ever buy (and waiting for all that bollocks to load) when i just want to start tf2.

SC2, Wed, 26 May 2010 05:00 am: Reply
It is a steaming piece of shit! I bought SC2 to play offline and now I can't update/play at all. It hosed my account. I want to play SC2. Want nothing to do with steam/valve shitheads. Never buying any game that touches this crap again.

zach, Wed, 16 Jun 2010 09:14 am: Reply
i bought a game i loved even though it was old i was so happy until i installed it only to find out you need enternet which i dont have in my area in fl and it was all because of fuuuuu-kkkkkkkkkkk-iiiiii-nnnnnn-gggggggggg gd steam how gay are those fu-cking thives if they ever meet me they will never forget or forgive me they will see the he-ll they put me through ten fold and if u are reading this and did not buy a steam bought game trust me not worth the s-hit u put up for the money ...... s.t.e.a.m s(hit t(rash e(nternet based a(ssholes m(onsters formed from gd f-uking sh-it not worth the ground a horse s-hits on.... steam go f-uck yourselves you faggots not worth the games u r-apped

Flatus, Mon, 21 Jun 2010 04:09 am: Reply
Steam is a shitty concept, shittily executed.

Drux, Tue, 22 Jun 2010 07:29 am: Reply
In my opinion Steam was almost good until the UI update. That fucked up the program.

Alex, Wed, 23 Jun 2010 06:38 pm: Reply
Steam has its place, it's for people too young to know how much better gaming was without online DRM, and too dumb to buy a game and get a crack yourself so when Steam goes down you still have a copy and can actually play it WHENEVER YOU WANT.

Steam really hooks people with cheap games and a simple one-stop downloading site, but you're really just renting the games and it's all tied to your account. When that's gone, so is everything you paid for.

GEORGIK, Sat, 17 Jul 2010 09:55 pm: Reply
i couldn't of said it better
i'm glad everyone agrees
fuck steam
fuck valve

William, Fri, 30 Jul 2010 08:43 am: Reply
Steam represents everything that is now wrong with the internet. It's corporations and governments forcing control and influence into the media.

I feel privileged to have lived in the hayday of the internet where the exchange of information was not censored but sadly that time has passed.

Cheaters in games during the early 2000's existed but were at the mercy of server admins now thanks to steam they're pandemic.

Basically STEAM = Fucking power hungry dicks

Ally, Tue, 03 Aug 2010 07:08 pm: Reply
STEAM IS FUCKING SHIT. I CANT PLAY A FUCKIN GAME WITHOUT CONNECTING TO THIS FUCKING SHIT ARSE SITE WHICH IS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME. WHAT HAPPENS THEN TO PLAYERS WHO HAVEN GOT THE INTERNET OR HAVE PROBLEMS ACCESING STEAM. I RECKON WE BUY GAMES TO BE ABLE TO PLAY WITH THEM NOT HAVING TO WASTE MY TIME TRYING TO WORK OUT HOW TO GET THEM TO WORK ON STEAM!!!! FUCK U STEAM!!!! WE ARE GOING BACKWARDS INTO THE DARKAGES NOT FORWARDS INTO EXCELLENT SASSY TECHNOLOGY!!

gra, Thu, 12 Aug 2010 06:36 am: Reply
after a pisstake hour downloading mafia2 pc demo, through what felt like a fucking snail crawling back & forth across the world hand delivering me parts of the file.

after waiting for snails to buggeroff so steam can take the piss for another while installing said demo.

only to start the game by clicking the LAUNCH DEMO icon ingame menu,

to then not be greeted by the game but my FUCKING DESKTOP after it CTD.

FUCK STEAM,FUCK MAFIA2,and FUCK YOU SNAIL'S..


next step.

1.make a full backup of steam & shit mafia2 demo to a cd.

2.find a nice thick rigid bubbled layerd postage bag.

3.place previously burned cd & place in postage bag (but do not seal).

4.after a good filling meal take shit in postage bag,seal,then post to steam offices.


wankers.

psilas, Sat, 14 Aug 2010 05:10 pm: Reply
Agree completely but the saddest thing is there are SO many people praising Steam, most of them 14 years old I'm sure, totally brainwashed.

These kids are sure fire targets for the Verichip when that piece of shit comes out.

Steam = Verichip of the gaming world.

Avoid both at all costs.

Skelebob124156, Mon, 16 Aug 2010 11:53 pm: Reply
Steam is complete shit why the fuck do I need a internet connection to play games! That is fucking retarded (with the exception of MMo's obviously). I wanted to buy Fallout New Vegas later this year guess what FUCKING STEAM ONLY WTF?!??!?!? It's a bloody single player game! Why do I need the fucking internet. Steam has ruined PC gaming how many new games have I bought this year? 2 Yeah fucking 2 and were almost at the end of the year! I haven't bought a Valve game since Blue shift it's a disgrace since they make great games even if they piss all over their customers
.

Rich B, Thu, 26 Aug 2010 01:06 am: Reply
Having always been a big console gamer i thought I'd have another look at PC gaiming since i just bought a nice Phenom II.
Popped in to town bought FM2010 (i.e i BOUGHT IT, its on the cd in the box i have in my hand, the cd that I now own the right to install and use),

I go to install and.. wait whats this bollocks? It wants to download the game via Steam??? WTF for, i already have, own and bought the game? Its IN THE FUCKING D: drive.
So there goes that, cant wait to play, rush home moment when you first buy a game and cant wait to play. With Steam you might as well go on holiday and come back in a few weeks when its hopefully finished downloading, assuming youre lucky enough that it doesnt disconnect 7 times during this stupid ass download like mine did. Which then meant i had to start again from the beginning every time.

I like to fire up a quick game sometimes before i go to work of a morning. Trouble is, with Steam you can forget it, takes for-fucking-ever just to get steam going let alone just play the god damn game. WTF are you connecting to Steam for?!?!?! I dont give a fuck about STEAM, just play the god damn fucking game you twat. I dont have all fucking day. You just have to pray theres no update available else you may as well come back after work.

To sum up.. Steam is fucking shit. plus all the other negatives already mentioned a million times over. Fair play to ANYONE that now goes and buys illegal copies of games as thats the only way you get to play in peace. As for me, well Ill just go back to my Xbox as theres no fucking way im putting up with this Steam shit.

boycott, Sat, 28 Aug 2010 12:39 am: Reply
My own dealings with steam have been shitty at best, will never support them again. I'm willing to support a warez gaming service through subscription. just to spite valve and other shitty developers. Will pay through paypal

Pissed off, Sat, 28 Aug 2010 08:21 pm: Reply
Mafia 2 took me 3 fucking hours to install!!! And the steam install crashed three times!!! What a piece of shit! I'm not buying another steam game as long as I live! I will however pirate it with great glee.

Anonymous, Mon, 30 Aug 2010 09:34 pm: Reply
got empire at war uploaded files and everything and i can definatley say shit shit and steam is run by wankers thankyou for wasting my money u pricks

cam, Sat, 04 Sep 2010 01:21 pm: Reply
steam sucks arse, fark buying another game that uses the pile of shit

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